I started this blog eager to share our life, our food, our stories. And I have lots of pictures and recipes and anecdotes sitting on my desktop (or at least in my head), ready to go. But to share them now was a show, like super creamy icing on a dry, foul-tasting cake. So I disappeared. It's easy to hide when you're halfway across the country.
People constantly ask how we like it here and I focus on the good parts. We love it on a personal level. We like the area, our neighbors, our life. We really do. But it's still hard in other areas, and that's what I have trouble talking about.
People constantly ask how we like it here and I focus on the good parts. We love it on a personal level. We like the area, our neighbors, our life. We really do. But it's still hard in other areas, and that's what I have trouble talking about.
It's frustrating to know that you are a good worker, that you could make a difference somewhere, and yet you are paid about what you were making out of college to do work a monkey could do. Really. There is a monkey in the cube next to me. It's tedious, it's boring, it's perfectly fine, but it's not my dream job and it's definitely not my dream salary. It pays some of our bills but we are still taking way too much out of savings and believe me, we are not splurging. I bring my lunch every day. We cook dinner or eat leftovers every night. No trips to the ice cream parlor. No random splurges at the store. I don't care about the extras. I do care that at some point our savings will run out and I don't know what we will do then. And it's frustrating to know that some people out there think we deserve this for daring to take a risk, to live our dream, to get the life we wanted.
Since I've been here, I've realized just how easy we had it in NY. Sure, we didn't have friends, at least not ones we saw on a regular basis and we couldn't eat dinner together most nights and we'd probably never buy a house or have another baby, but we were comfortable. I've also realized just how much we lacked in NY, and I don't want to go back. I don't want my old life. I want this one. Just with jobs and the ability to get ice cream. (yes, I really miss my weekend stops for cones with Ethan.)
So instead of talking and sharing, I've been avoiding everyone, waiting for life to sort itself out, for our transition to be complete and for our entire life, not just part of it, to start.
Friday things took a turn for the better. A job offer that I've been waiting for come through. I'm feeling better about things. And so now I'm able to be optimistic and share.
Since I've been here, I've realized just how easy we had it in NY. Sure, we didn't have friends, at least not ones we saw on a regular basis and we couldn't eat dinner together most nights and we'd probably never buy a house or have another baby, but we were comfortable. I've also realized just how much we lacked in NY, and I don't want to go back. I don't want my old life. I want this one. Just with jobs and the ability to get ice cream. (yes, I really miss my weekend stops for cones with Ethan.)
So instead of talking and sharing, I've been avoiding everyone, waiting for life to sort itself out, for our transition to be complete and for our entire life, not just part of it, to start.
Friday things took a turn for the better. A job offer that I've been waiting for come through. I'm feeling better about things. And so now I'm able to be optimistic and share.
Posts
1 comment:
I think you're brave and wise to take the plunge and go after the life you've always dreamed of. I've always thought this. And while I absolutely know it's scarier with Ethan, I also think that in the long run it's an adventure you all are sharing together and I bet he will grow up to know that his parents refused to settle, that they believed dreams were worth chasing. There are so many things that are important in our lives; this is at the top of my list. And I truly believe for such smart, fun, funny, wise, irreverent, true people as you guys are (ok, so I haven't met EJ, but I just think he must be) that where dreams lead you, ice cream will follow.
Post a Comment